Now and Forever – Part 1

By Angel Love

CHAPTER 1

"But Pop, I really would prefer to stay home."

"Look Chuck, we have talked about this for the last time. This is a family vacation and if you don't come along how could it be a family vacation?"

My sister snickered, and gave me that sly grin that I so detested. She was two years younger than I was and I considered her just too immature to understand the things of life. I twisted sideways in the back seat of our SUV with my back to her. She knew I was less than happy with taking a vacation so late in the summer, and she was enjoying every minute of my discomfort. We got along well enough. But, she was a girl. Moreover, girls were just not capable of really understanding how a guy felt and how his emotions worked.

Just three weeks from today I would be a senior. And there was so much I felt I needed to do before the big day arrived.

"Come on Honey." I loved the sound of my Mothers voice. It had just enough of a Texas accent to make it sound so adorable. "I promise you'll have a great time."

"I know Mom. But, I'm just so excited about being a senior this year. I had so much I wanted to do before school started."

Things like three more weeks of working at the local supermarket. Three full forty-hour weeks would give me enough money for the car I had my eye on. I guess by most people's standards the ten-year-old Chevy wasn't much of a car. But to me it was the greatest thing on four wheels. Bright red, chrome wheels, extended spoiler on the trunk, and chrome trimmed air scoop on the hood. WOW! What a car! I knew it had been well used. However, it was the car of my dreams. And the car I felt would help me attract just the right person I was searching for.

Here I was, my last year of high school, and I still didn't have a steady. I mean it wasn't that I was ugly or fat. At least I didn't see myself that way. Mom always told me I was cute. But that's just my mom. I was active in sports. Football was my game, and I was quite good at it. I rode my bicycle every day and tried to jog at least four times a week. This combined with three days a week weight training for football kept me in what I felt was good shape. But for some reason I just could not find a girl that held much interest for me. My last, I guess you could call girlfriend, had been Susie Gilmore. Our relationship lasted a full four months. Not long I know, but much longer than most I had had. However, I soon found myself losing interest in her. She was sweet, a good friend, but she just could not seem to connect with my feeling.

What were my feelings? To be truthful I was not quite sure. All my high school years I continually found myself looking for just the right girl, but I could never find her. Like I said they were fun to be with, and they made great friends. But beyond that, nothing.

"Come on big brother. I'll be your friend this week."

I tuned slightly and gave Mandy a cold stare. Then at the same instant I felt pangs of guilt tug at my heart for being so cranky with her. I turned to fully face her and patted her hand.

"Thanks Sis. Sorry for being a pest."

Soon we had the video game going full blast in the back seat and laughing and giggling like two little kids. I decided I might as well make the most of the situation. Even though, I would not be able to buy a car until close to the end of the school year. And my dream car would most definitely be gone by then. I guess things could be worse. At least I had a family that loved me unlike many of the kids I knew at school. So many of my friends came from broken, and abusive, homes. They were shuttled back and forth between their parents like a commodity no one wanted.

An hour later Dad pulled into a rest area. After we stretched our legs, and visited the facilities, Dad came over and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Son, I know you're disappointed. I'm so proud of you for giving in to our wishes. Thanks." Then he hugged me tight. "Believe me Buddy I know how you feel about that car. I'm not as old as you think. I still cherish my memories of my first hot rod. Now that was a thing of beauty."

"Yes, Dad." I chuckled, "I've heard about it a thousand times. Want me to describe it to you?"

Dad laughed and hugged me again. "No. No, I don't think that will be necessary. Trust me though. If that red Chevy is meant for you it will still be there when you have the money for it."

I sighed heavily. It wouldn't be there that long and we both knew it. However, it sounded good to hear him say it.

Dad and I were very close. We spent a lot of time together camping and fishing. He was my best friend as well as my Father. His words caused me to feel guilt-ridden for being so disagreeable earlier in the day.

"Son, would you like to drive the rest of the way?"

My eyes went wide. He knew that was a silly question. What do young boys like to do more than drive a car? Well . . . other than driving a car! HEHE!

Sun down found us pulling into the parking lot of our hotel. I had hoped we would have made better time, but Mom and Mandy had insisted on stopping several times to shop at some "quaint little place." Women! Who could ever understand them? Why waste your time shopping when you know you aren't going to buy anything. Besides, if we had gotten here earlier I would have had time to check out the available girls on the beach.

CHAPTER 2

"Damn it Will! Why can't you ever do anything right!" I cringed from the verbal abuse my father was giving me. "Damn it boy! This yard looks like you let a herd of goats mow it."

I was doing a slow burn on the inside. However, I dare not say a word or I could get the back of my father's hand across my mouth.

"I'm sorry Dad." I kept my voice just above a whisper so the passion could not be detected. "I've been out here all day. I was hoping you would like it this time."

"Oh! Quit your damn whining and just finish the job." He turned and stormed off toward the house.

"Dad."

My Father turned and looked at me as though he could not stand what he was seeing.

"Well. What?"

"May . . . may . . . may I go down to the beach when I finish."

"The BEACH! I shouldn't let you do anything after a screw up like this!" He turned and started for the house again, then stopped and without looking back at me, "Oh, OK . . . I guess you might as well! Perhaps you can at least do that right."

My father disappeared through the kitchen door and I sagged back against the old palm tree. A couple of tears trickled from the corner of my eyes before I could check my emotions and pull back into my shell of self-preservation. Suddenly it was as though my father had never said a word. My face took on a sober expression that reflected no feelings at all. I had learned at an early age I didn't have a very high ranking in the pecking order of my family. Why? I had no idea. All I knew was my two brothers seemed to have everything handed to them on a silver platter.

I don't mean to sound sarcastic about my life and family, but it always seemed I came in last. Like when we had something special to do, Danny and my little brother David were always allowed to have their say. In addition, most of the time whatever they wanted was what we did. I was never asked if I liked the idea, and if I tried to say something I was quickly told to be quiet and be thankful I got to do anything.

Mom and Dad were nice enough to me, and I wasn't mistreated. At least not that bad, my father used the back of his hand quite a lot, but never hard enough to leave much of a mark on my face. For some strange reason, my parents were people that refused to show much love as far as I was concerned. However my two brothers could do no wrong, and were constantly showered with affection. At times, I wandered if I was really loved. Then I would scold myself for having such a thought. Of course, I was loved. All kids are loved by their parents. Aren't they?

Danny was three years older than I was and my parents gave him a regular allowance. We weren't rich by some people's standards, but my parents earned a very comfortable living. So the ten dollars a week I was supposed to get, as an allowance would never be noticed. However, most of the time there was always a reason why I never received it. Ten dollars, if not more, was what Danny got, free and clear no strings attached. David, my other brother, was four years younger than I was and it seemed he always got whatever he wanted, that is, after he whined about it for a day or two. With me, I was expected to earn my spending money. Don't ask me why, I never did know. Except Dad always told me it would make a man out of me. I always wondered what he was trying to make out of Danny. If I mowed the lawn, trimmed the hedges, and cleaned the garage every week along with anything else Mom or Dad thought up I would receive ten dollars a week. Assuming everything came up to their standards. All the while my older brother would be off lying on the beach or down at the local teen club with his girlfriend.

You my think I was a little bitter at the way things were organized, and you would be right. I wanted to be accepted for who I was and to be shown the love that I imagined my two brothers were getting and I was not. It took a few years before I realized my home environment was why I developed the façade of a personality I possessed. Out going, a little loud, trying to be full of piss and vinegar all the time, and always doing something to draw attention to myself. This wall of protection I hid behind always had me in trouble with my school friend as well as my family. However, on the inside the real me hated myself. I was withdrawn, and I thought I was completely worthless for any purpose in life. If my self-esteem were any lower, I would have to reach up to scratch a snake's belly.

"Hello Will." The unexpected voice startled me back to reality.

"Oh! . . . Hi, Mrs. Simons." I tried to sound pleasant, but I don't think I was very successful. Mrs. Simons lived next door. Her husband had past away last year and I felt so sorry for her. After fifty years of marriage, she was so alone and so lonesome. Each morning I would go over to her house and have tea with her just so she would have someone to talk with for a few minutes. I would have preferred coffee, but her morning tea was a life long tradition.

"Will, I've got to hand it to you. You've got a real green thumb. You keep the nicest looking yard on the block. Sure wish your father would let you take care of my yard for me?"

"Yes Ma'am. Me too. But he says my allowance is all the money I need." Of course, I already knew since the yard had failed to meet my father's approval this would be the third week in a row that I would not get my allowance. Shortly after Mr. Simons' death I tried to talk dad into letting me take care of her yard for nothing. But this also met with his disapproval.

"Well, if he changes his mind let me know. You do marvelous work."

"Thanks Mrs. Simons. Perhaps one of these days."

"When does school start?"

"Three weeks."

"My, my. Just to think you will be a sophomore this year."

"No Ma'am. A junior."

"A junior! My, my . . . how time flies. Don't seem possible it's been that long since you folks moved in here."

I started gathering up my tools hoping she would get the hint.

"Well, I see you have more important things to do rather than talk to an old lady." And she chuckled her squeaky little laugh.

"It's not that Mrs. Simons, Dad just told me I can go down to the beach. He doesn't allow me to go that much these days."

She stepped close. Using a thin, wrinkled, hand she squeezed mine. "Will, I'm sorry for keeping you from your fun. It's just you're the only one who seem to pay me any notice these days."

I laid my hedge trimmers and hoe down so I could put my arm around her shoulder. "I'm the one who's sorry Mrs. Simons. I always have time to talk with you."

"Silly boy!" Then she gently patted the back of my hand. "You run along. I'll see you in the morning. And tomorrow I'll make a pot of coffee just for you."

She gave me a quick little kiss on the cheek then shuffled back to her home. My heart ached for her. I knew full well what it was to be so lonely that it hurt.

I hurried to put everything away. I just wanted to get away from the house for a while. Away from everyone who lived here. At times, I felt like I wanted to get away from myself also. Anything to escape the constant put downs I experienced here.

The ragged condition of my old bicycle mimicked my attitude as I followed the gentle winding trail down the side of the cliff behind our house. The warm breeze felt good as it played with my blond hair. And by the time I reached the beach the tranquil ride had tempered my rage and I was enjoying being alone. I could see several teens that I recognized playing along the surf's edge, or lounging together amongst the sand dunes, but I wasn't in the mood for any social activities right now. I locked my bike to my customary tree and slipped my jeans off.

A crooked little smile turned the corners of my mouth when I stripped my T-shirt off leaving me standing there in only my bright red Speedo briefs. Dad would be furious if he knew I had worn them in public. He though they were beyond immodest. "Damn things make you look like a pussy boy!" He had declared the first time he had saw me with them on. I was summarily ordered never to wear them again.

I didn't hate my father. I even liked him. I just could not understand why he seemed to dislike everything I did, or attempted to do. However, his callused feelings toward me were driving a wedge between us I felt could never be resolved. I wasn't in the habit of intentionally disobeying my father. There were just times I had to be myself. It may sound as though I'm bragging, but I am very proud of my body. I work hard at staying in shape. I watch what I eat, and exercise at least four times a week. I have had girls, and a couple of guys tell me my bum and legs are a great turn on. I will admit I may be suffering from an extreme case of vanity, but for the last few months having someone admire my body has been the only enjoyment I have received from life.

But even today I wasn't in the mood for that. After Dad's latest put down, I felt as though the bottom had fallen out of my world. I just wanted to be alone and wallow in my gloom. Moreover, I knew just the secluded place for that. A small cove only about a half-mile down the beach, but few people ever ventured there. It was a tough hike. Mostly rocks and brush, but it was well worth it if you wanted to be alone.

CHAPTER 3

Well, so much for Mandy being my best friend for the week. Thirty minutes on the beach and some guy already has her cornered at the soda stand trying to put the make on her. My sister is one of the hottest babes in our school. I told mom I didn't think it was such a good idea to let her wear that barely there string bikini.

Mom had only smiled and gave me a quirky little wink. "I'm glad you are so protective of your sister. But, I think she will be fine. Remember Chuck, you are only young once. A few years from know she won't be able to wear something so revealing. Let her have some fun. She knows how to stop a guy from going too far."

Sometimes I think my parents are too liberal for their own good. Oh, well.

I strolled along the beach enjoying the warm sun and the visual candy. For some reason when I was at the pool or on a beach, my attention was always divided between the girls and the hot looking guys. This was becoming a source of what I saw as a growing problem. A problem, which I believed was something that was just so unnatural. Before I left my hotel room this morning I had promised myself I would not so much as look at a boy. And, definitely not allow myself to lust after one. However, my same old dilemma seemed to follow me wherever I went. I knew these sign and I didn't like them. There was no way I could be gay, and I absolutely would not allow myself to become gay!

While I was thinking these thoughts, and scolding myself for looking, my eyes fastened onto a cute young boy of probably no more than fifteen.

"Damn, now that's some kind of nice!" The thought shot through my mind before I could stop it.

I turned away in disgust. I kicked what was left of some kids sand castle left over from the day before. I was rewarded for my efforts of anger with a face full of sand because of the strong breeze.

"Well, if you can't control yourself you better take a walk!" I was muttering to myself, but I had spoken loud enough a couple of girls gave me a questioning look than began giggling. Their laughter brought me back to reality and I realized I had a raging hard on clearly visible outlined in my Speedos.

Well this day sure wasn't starting out to be one of my better days. My sister leaves me stranded alone, I can't keep my eyes off the guys, and now I embarrass myself with probably the two biggest gossips on the beach. Great! Just Great! And to top it all off I am so introverted our vacation will be over before I get around to making any acquaintances here.

I turned and began walking slowly down the beach. Off in the distance I could see what looked like a small jetty of land reaching out into the surf. It appeared to be covered with rocks and brush. Just the place to get away from everyone for a while.

I was again muttering to myself as I reached the summit of the small hill. This time I was flustered because I had left my sandals back with Mandy's things and the stones and twigs were murder on my feet. However, as I straightened up to look around I was pleased with my discovery. Before me lay a tranquil little cove bordered on the far side by a jetty much like the one I stood on and on the backside by a sheer cliff of perhaps a hundred feet high. Almost directly below me I could see just the tip of a white sandy beach.

"Ah-hah. Just the place to fritter away some quality time." However, in the back of my mind I was also thinking it would be an ideal location to rid myself of some of my pent-up sexual urges. If you know what I mean?

I slowly made my way down the steep side of the jetty still wishing I had my sandals. Just as I reached the bottom a small branch scraped the inside of my thigh. I sat down on a rock to inspect the damage. Not serious. Just a good scratch and a little blood. Guess I'd live. The thought made me chuckle. Probably should have worn my long trunks but I liked the almost nude feel of my Speedos. In fact I always slept in the nude and I spent most evenings lounging in my room watching TV in the buff. My parents were very comfortable with nudity as long as we didn't make it a practice of parading around the house naked. Occasionally was fine and if they needed to come into my room I wasn't expected to run for cover. And when I felt the urge, which was quite often – HeHe, to jack off I simply closed the door. No need of locking it because no one would knock or enter until it was cracked open again. Dad always said young boys had to have their privacy at times and everyone, including my sister, knew what that meant.

I brushed a little sand from the scrape and stood up. That's when, no more than thirty yards in front of me, a pair of legs suddenly slid out from behind a thick brushy growth of sea oats.

"Oh, great. Came all this way to be alone and someone's already hear." I really needed to stop muttering to myself so much. People would think I was weird.

I sat back down on the rock and pulled my knees up tight against my chest and encircled them with my arms. As I rested my chin on my knees I was contemplating my next move. Should I just go back? Should I go on down to the beach? What if it was some guy doing his girl? The possibilities were endless.

As I sat there deciding my next move the long legs were drawn back behind the bush. Then a young boy stood up wearing the brightest red Speedos I had ever saw.

"OH Gosh! Not only do I have company but get a load of that bod!" All I could see was his backside, but that was enough. He had the most stunning bum I had ever saw on a boy. And those legs! Wow! They'd make most girls blush with envy. Then to make things worse he stretched like a cat. Hands locked together high above his head, feet slightly parted, and his torso seemed to twist and squirm like he was double jointed. My willy must have been watching also because I became instantly hard; so hard the head threatened to peak out over the waistband of my trunks.

"Now what do I do if he comes back this way?" My thoughts were in high gear thinking about the Grecian god that had just stood up in front of me, and how I was going to conceal my stiff willy.

Judging from all the stretching that he was doing he must have been asleep and was shaking off the last remnants of his catnap. I was silently cursing myself for becoming so infatuated by a boy's body. How I wished he would turn so I could see his face. He just had to be cute with a bod like he possessed. Even from the backside I suddenly had the feeling there was something strangely familiar about him.

Bother! Instead of turning where I could see him, he began walked away toward the water. His form mesmerized me as he entered the water. I couldn't take a chance of loosing sight of him now. I stood to my feet and adjusted my dick so it lay as concealed as possible under the tight material. Then I followed at a discrete distance. I sat down beside the same bush where he had been laying. By now, he had waded far enough out where he could dive beneath an oncoming wave. I looked down beside me and the imprint of his beautiful round bottom was perfectly outlined in the soft sand. I gently lay my hand in the depression and felt my willy twitch. I could not believe the impact I was letting this boy have on me. It was unreal. Especially for someone who was bound and determined he wasn't queer.

I couldn't help it I had to get closer. Close enough to hopefully speak to him.

CHAPTER 4

I shivered when the cool water came in contact with my hot skin. I didn't know how long I had slept beside the sea oats bush. I did know I had lain down in the shade of the large grass clump only to awaken with the sun beating down on me and feeling like I probably would have a nice sunburn.

I let the water cool my skin, but the thought of my home life were still burning in my mind. It seemed that was all I could think about these days. I just felt so miserable. I felt miserable when I woke in the morning, and when I went to sleep at night. To make matters worse I even dreamed about my father taunting every little thing I did. Right now I had two desires in life. One was to have a happy home life. And the other was to have someone I could trust. Someone more than a just an acquaintance. A person who would really take an interest in just me. A person who would listen to my problems and be there when I needed someone to listen. I guess what I really wanted was someone I could love and someone who would love me.

I sighed deeply and began wading out of the water. Suddenly I was startled by a voice coming from the beach.

"Will! . . . Will Ruther! Is that really you?"

I looked up to see who was calling my name. But I was looking directly into the late afternoon sun. All I could see was the dark outline of some guy standing at the waters edge. A few steps more and his face became clearly visible.

"Chuck! . . . Chuck! I haven't seen you since . . . since when?"

Without thinking I came running out of the water, water spraying in large sheets as my feet and legs churned through the shallow surf. I almost knocked him down as I ran up and threw my arms around him and gave him a big hug. When I backed off I could detect a slightly shocked expression on his face.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said. "Just haven't seen a friendly face for so long I guess I just got carried away."

Chuck was a year older than me. I had known him back at my old school in West Port. He was a freshman then and I was in the eighth grade. We were never close friends though because of the stigma of separation of the upper classmen and the "little kids" in middle school. But that hadn't stopped me from having a tremendous crush on him though. That was another thing in my life. It never bothered me that I should find boys, especially Chuck, so fascinating. It always seemed guy were so much more honest with their feeling than girl were. Since we had moved here I had dated several girls, but each time it seemed to always end the same way. I would just get tired of trying to do everything their way. What was so wrong with sharing, and doing things we both enjoyed?

"Hay. Not a problem Buddy! Just haven't had too many guys give me a hug like that."

Then he chuckled and I could see a smile on his lips. He put one arm around my shoulders and hugged me pulling me close to his side. Wow! It felt so good. We stood there for a long moment just looking at each other.

"I can't believe how much you have grown and changed in just three years." Chuck told me. "I hardly recognized you."

"Well, I hope it's been for the best?" Again I chuckled. Damn I hated it when I laughed like that. I always did when I was a little nervous or excited. It sounded so much like a girl giggling it made me cringe.

Chuck put a hand on my shoulder as we walked slowly back to the sand dunes.

"I'm glad to hear that chuckle of your hasn't changed. I always liked the way it sounded. So happy and full of life."

Now I blushed. Another problem I had that I wasn't that thrilled about.

We sat down in the shade of a short palm tree. In just a few minutes we were chatting like old friends. Like I said we had know each other back at West Port but we had never talked then like we were now. It seemed we both had a mission to fulfill. I didn't know what Chuck's was but the longer we talked the more I began to realize what mine was. I needed someone I could confide in and for some strange reason, almost like a sixth sense, something was telling me I could trust Chuck to be that person. I know that sounds almost ridiculous. After all we had only be reacquainted less than thirty minutes, but still that feeling was there. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.

I lost all track of time. That was until Chuck said, "It's so quiet and peaceful here at sun set. I could spend our entire vacation just enjoying this tranquil setting."

"Sun set!" The statement jolted me out of my dream world about Chuck and back to the present. "Oh crap!" I looked at my watch. "Dad's going to be furious. It's dinnertime. And on the weekends he insists that everyone be present for dinner and on time."

I jumped up and began brushing the sand from my bum and legs.

"I'm sorry Chuck but I must hurry. Dad and I aren't on the best of terms right now, and the last thing I need is another run in with him when I get home."

"That's OK Buddy. I need to be getting back to the hotel also."

Buddy. That sounded so nice. I wondered if he really meant it or if it was just an express he used with all the guys?

Chuck took the lead back up the trail. I could not help but notice his muscular build as I followed behind. He had told me he liked football and it was evident. His shoulders were broad and well defined. The muscles of his back stood high and firm. His waist tapered in and I could see the taut muscles of his sides working rhythmically as he walked. And his tight Speedos did little to hide the cheeks of his butt. They were so firm they actually bounced a little each time a foot came in contact with the ground. And his thigh and calf muscles were so well defined I could see each one individually. He looked back at me a couple of time but I don't know if he realized just how closely I was observing his body. I was so taken by the visual image it was a few seconds before I realize the direction he was leading us.

"Hold up." I said. "Don't tell me that's the way you come in here?"

"Yeah. I just came over the top and down this little trail."

"Follow me. That's why this is such a secluded place. Not many people are willing to trudge over that hill. I'll show you my secret entrance."

I stepped up beside Chuck and put a hand on his shoulder and left it there as I led his along the base of the hill until we stood at the bottom of the cliff.

"There, see that small cave." And I pointed to an opening barely visible behind another clump of sea oats.

We ducked down to enter the small breach. Once inside it opened up to an almost tubular tunnel some eight to ten feet in diameter. I picked up my flashlight that I had left lying at the entrance and started through the dark passageway. In less than two hundred yards the light at the far end was visible.

"There's a large sea oat plant that completely concealing this entrance. The opening isn't very big; we have to crawl out on our hands and knees. Be careful, the leaves will do a number on your bare skin. Also we don't want to leave any sign where others can find our secret little entrance." My girlish chuckle again echoed through the cavern.

"Hay. That's great." Chuck said as we came out into the waning light of day. "What did it take? Five minutes. And I climbed and struggled for more than a half hour to get over the top."

I took the lead and broke into a run on the way back to where I had chained by bicycle to the tree. Damn, I was going to be in trouble again. Why can't dad be a little more understanding with me? If it were Danny or David there would not be a thing said. They could just come in, sit down for a late dinner, and everything would be just fine. But not me. NO. I already knew what would be awaiting me when I walked into the house.

"Sorry I've got to hurry off Chuck. But I just have too. Perhaps I will be able to tell you all about it some day."

"Hay. Not to worry. What say we meet here again tomorrow? Say right after lunch?"

My face instantly lit up. "I'd like that a lot! Just hope I won't be grounded though."

"Grounded? For being a few minutes late for dinner!"

"We'll see. See you tomorrow. I hope."

I jerked my bike around and swung onto the saddle. I peddled hard back up the winding trail. I'd stop at the top and put my pants and shirt on. Right now I needed the freedom to generate as much speed as I could.